I am officially 27 weeks today. One more week and I will have entered into my third trimester. Three months left in this pregnancy and then I will officially be a mom. Our room is already equipped with his pack n play and stroller, but it still hasn't fully hit me that my life is about to change drastically. I still have a lot of growing up to do and much of that will be done with a growing baby in tow.
Maturity is not something that I am lacking, but I do have a big space in my life filled with a love for childish antics and activities. Soon, I will have someone of my own to color with and to go to the park with--although most of his beginning life will be spent sleeping or sucking on my boobs. I am so incredibly excited to be a mother, but I am skeptical as to how this whole experience is going to change me.
Pregnancy has done more to me than expand my belly and kill every other muscle in me. I have never been so sore for so long, and I can't wait until my little monster is out of me, so that everyday won't feel like complete death. Being pregnant has already taught me that annoying mother's worry, that will be with me for the rest of my life. Pregnancy is a 9 month battle of survival. Every day, no matter how good you feel, there is a constant knot in your stomach knowing that there is a chance you can lose your baby at any moment. Every movement is questioned. Everything you eat leaves you feeling a little bit guilty. And every day is just one step closer to that moment of extreme pain and pure joy that will occur when finally lay eyes on your little one. And then you have a whole new set of worries. My nights will be sleepless enough with a newborn in the mix, but I know my paranoia will not grant me any relief on the sleeping front. I already anticipate many nights of staying up watching Elliott breathe, making sure that he is okay.
There are so many first time experiences that I get to experience with my little man, and so many mistakes I will be making along the way. But it is all part of growing, and with broken crayons and wrinkled paper, we will begin to map out our life together.
~SKABB
