38 days left.

So in 38 days (hopefully) or less (more hopefully), I will be a mother. It is weird and scary to think about. For the past 8 months, I have had this little boy growing in my body, and as tiring and shitty as it has been at times, it has never really hit me that this will turn into something much bigger. My belly won't be growing forever. Those daily hiccups won't continue as 20 minute thumps in my stomach. I won't be getting kicked constantly through out the day. Soon I will have a little boy to hold and feed and soothe and worry about.
It has hit me before, but it has never really become a true reality. Maybe it won't. Maybe he will just be here and ready or not, I will figure it out. I am thrilled that I will get to spend most of the days alone with him as much as I wish that Mitch could be around, too. I'm sure after a few days of sleepless nights and restless days, I will be singing a different tune, but I feel incredibly blessed that I will be the center of my little boy's world, and him the center of mine.
And yet, 38 days feels like forever to wait. But how about 17? Not too long. In 17 days, I will be considered full term. And that means my butt will be trying everything I can to get labor started. However, I am sure I will be unsuccessful and Elliott will keep me waiting until July. But 38 days isn't that long, and he is well worth the wait.

49 days to go.

It is officially day 1 of summer vacation. It doesn't feel very different, because I only actually went to school 2 days a week and the rest of my classes were online, but still. I wasn't completely bombarded with school work, but it was the only thing I really HAD to focus on. Now of course, it is all about the baby and I have absolutely nothing to get done.
All of his clothes are washed and put away. Each little outfit separated by size and shape-onesies in one drawer, footie pjs and gowns in another. The diapers are put away. His hospital bag is packed. All of the baby books are read. His bassinet is set up. Stroller, car seat, bath all purchased. Towels folded. Blankets put away. Calendar marked with countdowns that only make the time drag on.
Doctor appointments are scheduled every 2 weeks now, but the wait seems to be so much longer now.
My drawer has dwindled down to two measly piles of shirts that all barely fit me. I might as well just get a free pass to go naked for the last 6 weeks, but god know that no one wants to see that.
Mitch is waiting to hear back for a job, and if we get it we are moving out. Then I will be able to focus on packing, which will definitely help the time pass, but of course not quickly enough.
I keep searching for things to do to get ready for the baby, but I think I need to start focusing on what I should be doing for ME.
These are my last weeks of me time. Once he gets here, everything will be on his schedule and will remain that way for at least the next 16 years. Sacrifices will be made, and as I have come to realize recently, I am not all that grown up either.
So I guess I will start to compile a list of things I would like to get done in the last 49 days of Ellie's life pre-baby.
1. Finish a book
2. Paint my nails
3. Nap
4. Spend some time in the sun
5. Write down tattoo ideas
6. Color. A lot.
7. Go swing at the park.
to be continued...
This whole life thing is going to be a learning experience for the both of us. But who better to share it with than the love of my life?