It is officially day 1 of summer vacation. It doesn't feel very different, because I only actually went to school 2 days a week and the rest of my classes were online, but still. I wasn't completely bombarded with school work, but it was the only thing I really HAD to focus on. Now of course, it is all about the baby and I have absolutely nothing to get done.
All of his clothes are washed and put away. Each little outfit separated by size and shape-onesies in one drawer, footie pjs and gowns in another. The diapers are put away. His hospital bag is packed. All of the baby books are read. His bassinet is set up. Stroller, car seat, bath all purchased. Towels folded. Blankets put away. Calendar marked with countdowns that only make the time drag on.
Doctor appointments are scheduled every 2 weeks now, but the wait seems to be so much longer now.
My drawer has dwindled down to two measly piles of shirts that all barely fit me. I might as well just get a free pass to go naked for the last 6 weeks, but god know that no one wants to see that.
Mitch is waiting to hear back for a job, and if we get it we are moving out. Then I will be able to focus on packing, which will definitely help the time pass, but of course not quickly enough.
I keep searching for things to do to get ready for the baby, but I think I need to start focusing on what I should be doing for ME.
These are my last weeks of me time. Once he gets here, everything will be on his schedule and will remain that way for at least the next 16 years. Sacrifices will be made, and as I have come to realize recently, I am not all that grown up either.
So I guess I will start to compile a list of things I would like to get done in the last 49 days of Ellie's life pre-baby.
1. Finish a book
2. Paint my nails
3. Nap
4. Spend some time in the sun
5. Write down tattoo ideas
6. Color. A lot.
7. Go swing at the park.
to be continued...
This whole life thing is going to be a learning experience for the both of us. But who better to share it with than the love of my life?
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Growing Up Pregnant
I am officially 27 weeks today. One more week and I will have entered into my third trimester. Three months left in this pregnancy and then I will officially be a mom. Our room is already equipped with his pack n play and stroller, but it still hasn't fully hit me that my life is about to change drastically. I still have a lot of growing up to do and much of that will be done with a growing baby in tow.
Maturity is not something that I am lacking, but I do have a big space in my life filled with a love for childish antics and activities. Soon, I will have someone of my own to color with and to go to the park with--although most of his beginning life will be spent sleeping or sucking on my boobs. I am so incredibly excited to be a mother, but I am skeptical as to how this whole experience is going to change me.
Pregnancy has done more to me than expand my belly and kill every other muscle in me. I have never been so sore for so long, and I can't wait until my little monster is out of me, so that everyday won't feel like complete death. Being pregnant has already taught me that annoying mother's worry, that will be with me for the rest of my life. Pregnancy is a 9 month battle of survival. Every day, no matter how good you feel, there is a constant knot in your stomach knowing that there is a chance you can lose your baby at any moment. Every movement is questioned. Everything you eat leaves you feeling a little bit guilty. And every day is just one step closer to that moment of extreme pain and pure joy that will occur when finally lay eyes on your little one. And then you have a whole new set of worries. My nights will be sleepless enough with a newborn in the mix, but I know my paranoia will not grant me any relief on the sleeping front. I already anticipate many nights of staying up watching Elliott breathe, making sure that he is okay.
There are so many first time experiences that I get to experience with my little man, and so many mistakes I will be making along the way. But it is all part of growing, and with broken crayons and wrinkled paper, we will begin to map out our life together.
~SKABB
Maturity is not something that I am lacking, but I do have a big space in my life filled with a love for childish antics and activities. Soon, I will have someone of my own to color with and to go to the park with--although most of his beginning life will be spent sleeping or sucking on my boobs. I am so incredibly excited to be a mother, but I am skeptical as to how this whole experience is going to change me.
Pregnancy has done more to me than expand my belly and kill every other muscle in me. I have never been so sore for so long, and I can't wait until my little monster is out of me, so that everyday won't feel like complete death. Being pregnant has already taught me that annoying mother's worry, that will be with me for the rest of my life. Pregnancy is a 9 month battle of survival. Every day, no matter how good you feel, there is a constant knot in your stomach knowing that there is a chance you can lose your baby at any moment. Every movement is questioned. Everything you eat leaves you feeling a little bit guilty. And every day is just one step closer to that moment of extreme pain and pure joy that will occur when finally lay eyes on your little one. And then you have a whole new set of worries. My nights will be sleepless enough with a newborn in the mix, but I know my paranoia will not grant me any relief on the sleeping front. I already anticipate many nights of staying up watching Elliott breathe, making sure that he is okay.
There are so many first time experiences that I get to experience with my little man, and so many mistakes I will be making along the way. But it is all part of growing, and with broken crayons and wrinkled paper, we will begin to map out our life together.
~SKABB
