It puts everything in perspective to look back and realize that the first day of summer had just about 50 days until my due date. FIFTY. It feels like it was just yesterday, which makes me hopeful that even if he holds out for 17 more days, or even a few more, I can make it and it will be here before I know it.

I cannot wait for Elliott to be here to teach me new things about love and life. Just when I think I am ready, I decide I very well may not be. There is so much that I wish I could be prepared for, but I simply can't. So many different studies about how the baby should sleep, how often you should feed them, keeping up with product recalls...

Should I allow them to give him the routine vaccines after delivery? Should he get the eye ointment? Do I allow him to have a pacifier before we have established breastfeeding? How long until I should give him a bottle?

There are so many decisions to be made for his first few hours of life and I don't want to do anything wrong. I want him to have the best chance. I don't want to do something and find out down the road that I actually harmed him more than I helped. But I guess that is what learning is all about. Sometimes you fall down, but that doesn't mean that everything has been a failure.